


Unexpected

by vuccijl



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-06 01:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8729686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vuccijl/pseuds/vuccijl
Summary: Maybe the father of Rory's baby isn't who everyone thinks. My version of the revival includes a few missing moments between Jess and Rory that led to those final four words.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in a very, very long time. I used to write years ago and have been thinking about cleaning up and posting some old stuff. In the meantime, here's something set during the Fall revival. The biggest change is that the whole Life and Death Brigade thing didn't happen. Logan never came to Stars Hollow. Rory ended things on the phone and that was that. My timeline might be slightly off because it wasn't completely clear in the revival how much time passed between certain things. I also haven't been able to make myself go back and re-watch so take that into consideration! 
> 
> Reviews appreciated!

“ _Mom.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I’m pregnant.”_

If the situation had been different Rory may have laughed at the expression on her mother’s face. It was a mixture of surprise, fear, and confusion. Rory didn’t see anger in the mix but then again she’d only shared her news seconds earlier – the anger would probably come later.

“Excuse me?” Lorelai asked somewhere above a whisper.

“I’m,” Rory started to repeat herself but her mother held her hand up, stopping her.

“No, I heard you, never mind. Don’t say it again.”

Rory swallowed, willing the tears away. Her throat felt like it was closing up and she felt sick to her stomach. She hadn’t been prone to morning sickness, at least not yet, so she could only assume the feeling had everything to do with the fact that she was telling her mother she was pregnant - on her wedding day no less.

No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Rory wanted to say something but she couldn’t figure out what. Lorelai had never been one to stay silent for long but Rory could almost see the wheels turning in her head, thoughts spinning like a bicycle.

Finally, after what felt like days but had only been minutes, she spoke.

“You thought now was the best time to tell me?”

Rory shoulders sagged and she let out a breath she didn’t know she'd been holding. “I wasn’t planning on telling you now, it just sort of happened.”

Lorelai nodded, still clearly processing Rory’s news. “How far along?”

“I haven’t been to the doctor yet but about seven weeks.”

The silence continued and Rory’s eyes watered. She should not have done this now. After the secret wedding last night, everything had been perfect. Her mother had never been happier. Today, she would celebrate in front of the whole town and her family and friends. Rory had placed this burden on her selfishly.

Several more minutes passed with Rory staring at her mother and her mother staring straight ahead.

“Do you want to know who the father is?” Rory asked quietly, wringing her hands together. It was a cold morning and she wished she had a jacket.

“Oh, so you do know who it is?” Her mother asked, somewhat harshly. Rory sucked in a breath and her eyes watered. Here was the anger.

“That’s not fair.” She whispered, her voice cracking.

Lorelai took a deep breath, finally turning to meet Rory’s gaze. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I just don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised about anything in my entire life.”

“Even when you found out you were pregnant with me?”

“Even then.”

Rory sighed. She knew they’d get through this but she wanted to get to that point now. She hated this part and she knew it was only the beginning.

“Let’s walk home.” Lorelai said suddenly, standing and moving down the steps of the gazebo.

Rory followed, increasing her pace to keep up with her mother. She didn’t want to push her to talk more but she also was ready to burst.

“Mom,” Rory said, linking her arm with her mother’s. When Lorelai didn’t pull away Rory breathed a sigh of relief. “Please say something. I know this is a shock and I know it’s bad timing and I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. The words literally just flew out of my mouth before I even realized what was happening. It’s like, instinctively I know I shouldn’t have brought it up now but my brain needs you to be in on the secret so that I can really comprehend what’s going on.”

Again, Rory saw a million different emotions cross Lorelai’s face. Rory knew, realistically, that she was trying to process and that Rory was not giving her time to do so. Rory had been equally surprised when she had taken the pregnancy test and seen a positive sign. Sure, she’d had a few days longer to think things through but she couldn’t really digest this huge, life-changing news until she was able to have a conversation with her mother. As hard as this was, for both women, they needed to talk. That’s what they did, they talked, and so even though Rory may have been going about this the wrong way, it was the only way she could think of.

“Do I know the father?” Lorelai asked. Not what Rory had expected but it was a start.

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“Is it who I think it is?”

“I don’t know who you think it is.”

“I can’t say the name.”

“Why?”

“Because then it’s real and my biggest fears are confirmed.”

Rory’s brows wrinkled in confusion. “Mom, wait, what?”

“Does the name start with an ‘L’ and end with an ‘N’?” Lorelai asked, squeezing her eyes shut even though she continued to walk.

Clarity hit Rory immediately. She had been silly. Of course her mother would think that. The last they’d spoken about Rory’s love life she had been a complete idiot, sleeping with her engaged, ex-boyfriend.

“No!” Rory exclaimed. She stopped in her tracks and put her hands on Lorelai’s upper arms effectively turning her so the two women faced each other. “Mom, stop. Look at me.”

Lorelai met her daughter’s eyes, both relief and confusion written on her face. “Who then? Not that Pete guy?”

“Paul, and God, no.” Rory answered quickly.

Lorelai now looked only exasperated. “Rory, I don’t know who else it could be that I know.”

Rory took a deep breath but made sure to look her mother in the eye as she shared the news. “Mom, it’s Jess.”

_Seven weeks earlier_

It was clear that summer had officially turned into fall as the sun was starting to set earlier and the evenings were not quite as warm as they had been. Rory had put a long day in at the Stars Hollow Gazette and she was ready to head home. It was Friday and she was in desperate need of the weekend. She shut the door, turning to lock the many deadbolts. Break ins were rare in Stars Hollow, and even if they weren’t, Rory couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to break into the old newspaper office. She spent far too much of her day locking and unlocking this door.

“Hey there,” she heard from behind her.

She whipped around, the ring of keys jingling in her hand as she did so.

“Jess,” she said breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”

“I was in town to help out Liz and TJ with something but that fell through so now I’m just hanging around waiting to have dinner with Luke tonight,” he answered shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I don’t see you for four years and then I see you twice in as many months?” She joked. She was nervous she realized and she never could understand why. Every time she saw Jess she got that way – even when his name was mentioned in conversation her stomach did weird flip flops that she couldn’t quite figure out. It was easier to ignore them when she never saw him, but now that she was back in Stars Hollow and clearly he spent some time here, it was becoming increasingly harder.

“What’s going on?” He asked. “Find your underwear yet?”

She laughed and her face heated slightly. The fact that she had ever even mentioned her underwear to Jess was a clear indicator that she was losing her mind.

“I’m so sorry about last time I saw you,” she answered, lowering her eyes. “I hate that you saw me like that. Again.”

He shrugged and kept eye contact with her the entire time. He was so cool and confident. A lot of things may have changed about Jess over the years but that was not one of them. “Better that than pretending everything’s good when it’s not.”

“Maybe, but the fact that I’ve seen you a handful of times in the last ten years and most of those times I’ve been a complete head case is just embarrassing.”

“Are things any better?” He asked, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. The sun continued to go down and the temperature dropped with it.

Were things better? She wished she could say they were but she had a feeling it would be a long time before she actually felt okay with the direction of her life. Should she lie? Because what she had said was true – being anything but perfect in front of Jess was losing its appeal. Things were over with Logan and she had finally broken things off with Paul. So sure, her love life, while not necessarily good also wasn’t the complete disaster it had been when she’d seen him earlier in the summer. She’d outlined the book he’d suggested she’d write which was exciting, but things with her mom were not okay ever since she’d shared the news that she was writing about their life. She was still working for free at the Stars Hollow Gazette which kept her busy but also broke.

“They aren’t worse,” she said trying but failing to meet his eyes as she did so.

He was silent for a minute and she wondered if he was trying to figure out what to say. Jess had never held back from her before so she hoped he’d be honest with her now. His honesty was refreshing and something she’d come to expect from him – even if the things he said hit way to close to home sometimes.

“Meet me for a drink later,” He said, surprising her. “I’m having dinner with Luke at eight but I could meet you around 10?”

A drink with Jess? Did she want to do that? That left them way too much time to talk and she was sick of talking about herself. Then again, she always felt better after spending time with Jess even if it was just a simple conversation.

“Secret bar?” She responded with a smile.

He smirked and shook his head. “I can’t even grasp that concept.”

She laughed spinning around to make sure she had turned all of the locks. When she was confident all was secure, she turned back to him slipping the key ring into her purse. “I went to watch Lane and Zach play the other night and luckily Taylor never walked by so it almost felt like we were at a real bar. It didn’t feel as secretive as I thought it would.”

“How unfortunate,” He said sarcastically but with his signature smirk pasted on his face. “I’ll meet you there at 10?”

She nodded and watched him back away from her. “Sounds good.”

He waved and turned walking down the street in the direction of Luke’s. She watched him for a minute before turning in the direction of Lane’s. She had been staying there until the dust settled between her and her mother. Lorelai had called to let her know she was going to do ‘Wild’ but she’d given Rory no room for questions or comments. Rory had hung up the phone speechless and confused. Luke was no help, giving her one word answers and some mumbo jumbo about how everything was fine when clearly it was not. All texts to her mother had gone unanswered and all calls had went straight to voicemail.

A drink (or two) with Jess might just be the thing she needed to relax and forget about the shit show her life was.

One could hope.


	2. Chapter 2

The Secret Bar was on the complete opposite side of town from where Taylor Doose resided. It was required that all patrons either walk or park at least half a mile away from one of three side streets designated on the Secret Bar website. There was no parking lot and there was never a line to get in. Once max capacity hit you were out of luck. This was Stars Hollow though, a line was a rarity. Hours for the bar were always changing and it wasn’t unusual to show up and find the bar had not opened at all that night for one reason or another.

  
Lane, Zach, and Brian spent the occasional weekend night playing music at the Secret Bar – this Friday night was one of them. Lane had informed Rory that tonight they had more freedom with their set list because Taylor was out of town visiting a relative and they could afford to turn the bass up a bit. Rory was relieved to find out this information – it was much more enjoyable when you didn’t have to worry about picking up your table and chair at the drop of a hat.

  
She’d gotten to the bar half an hour before she was to meet Jess and had been able to have a drink with Lane in the meantime. Lane had found it interesting that she was meeting up with Jess but now a days Lane found everything interesting – she didn’t get out much.

  
It was two minutes to ten and Rory watched the band play. She sat at a table in the corner sipping on a vodka tonic. Her head was facing the door but she tried desperately not to stare at the spot where she would see Jess arrive. It was bad enough she had to be one and a half drinks in to feel even the slightest sense of calm.

  
He walked in five minutes later and Rory felt like the whole atmosphere changed. Everywhere he went Jess oozed this confidence that drew people to him. It was no secret he was beyond handsome – back in high school Rory had certainly never seen someone so good looking in real life and she thought the same might still be true today. He’d clearly started using the gym, something Rory considered giving him a hard time about later. He’d aged unbelievably well and Rory decided, as he walked in her direction, that she was still just as attracted to him as she’d been all those years ago. It was impossible not to be.

  
She smiled at him as he walked up to the table and pulled out the chair across from her.

  
“This is not real,” he said as he sat down.

  
“Oh, yes it is. And good news, Taylor’s out of town so no stealth necessary tonight.”

  
He thought about this for a minute before replying. “I’m slightly disappointed about that.”

  
She laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She didn’t think it was obvious that she was nervous but she couldn’t count on it.

  
“So anything special I need to know before I dive in here?” He said haphazardly looking at the drink menu on the table. He made eye contact with the band and waved in their direction.

  
“I feel like you should know that better than me. You seem to be quite the Stars Hollow frequenter as of late.” She answered.

  
“That may be true but I promise you I’m not bar hopping when I’m here.” He said.

A waitress came over and took his drink order. Jack and Coke – for whatever reason she wasn’t surprised.

  
“How was dinner with Luke?” Rory asked taking another sip of her drink. She could’ve ordered another but she figured she should wait a bit – she’d never been particularly successful at excessive drinking and the Secret Bar did not make weak drinks.

  
Jess’ eyes met hers across the table. He linked his fingers together and Rory wondered if he wished he had a drink to keep his hands occupied.

  
“He’s all messed up over your mom. What the hell is going on there?” He asked but he didn’t seem to be judging her mother – just genuinely curious.

  
“I wish I knew. I haven’t spoken to her since she left for California the other day.” She responded and she knew what was coming next.

  
“How is that possible?”

  
“We haven’t exactly been on the best terms since I told her about the book idea,” Rory answered reluctantly.

  
The waitress returned with his drink and he took a healthy swig. He watched her for a minute, waiting to see if she would continue.

  
"She’s not thrilled about me writing about her life. About stuff she wanted to forget or didn’t want people to know. I told her I had to though. I told her I hadn’t been this passionate about an idea in forever and she just told me I couldn’t do it,” she paused to take a breath but she was on a roll now. “She got all passive aggressive and told me to do what I had to do but it was clear she was not on board. It’s so frustrating because I was so sure she’d be supportive. It never even occurred to me that she wouldn’t be.”

  
“Did you tell her where you got the idea?” Jess asked but he was sure he knew the answer.

  
“I may have mentioned it. But only after she asked. It doesn’t matter whose idea it was,” She backtracked after she saw him raise his eyebrow. “I don’t mean it like that. I would have never thought of it without you, I’m just saying that she’s not mad because of who gave me the idea she’s mad about me actually writing it.”

  
“I have a feeling she’ll come around,” Jess responded, taking another sip of his drink. He met her eyes and gave her a small smile. “Seems like you’re not the only one with some crap to figure out. I think once she does she’ll be on your side.”

  
Rory sighed and pushed her glass to the side of the table indicating that she was ready for another drink. “I hope so. I need to write this but I don’t think I can do it one hundred percent without her support.”

  
They sat in silence for a few minutes and Rory found that it wasn’t uncomfortable. Silence never had been with them and she was happy to know after all this time that still held true. He finished his drink and the waitress returned to collect their empty glasses, promising to return momentarily with refills. Rory was already feeling a slight buzz and she knew one more drink would send her well on her way to drunk.

  
It was her who broke the silence first.

  
“Tell me about what’s going on with you. Like in detail, not just ‘Truncheon’s going well’ or ‘personal life is good nothing permanent,’” she said but it was clear she was joking. It was true though, it was always her spilling her guts – never him.

  
The waitress returned with their drinks and he took a sip before answering.  
He laughed but answered. “Truncheon is doing really well. Remember when I saw you four years ago at Christmas I told you we were considering moving to New York?” He asked.

  
She nodded her hand stirring the small straw in her drink. “I do. That never happened though right? I feel like I would have heard.”

  
“It didn’t. Matthew had some personal shit going on and then Chris got married so it kept getting pushed off. We’re doing really well in Philly so it’s definitely the next step for us. It was always fun to talk about but kind of scary to actually make happen. A couple of months ago it came up again and it looks like it’s finally happening. We found a location in SoHo and we’re hoping to make the move in the next month or so.” He said and Rory could tell how excited he was just by the way his eyes lit up.

  
“That’s great, Jess,” she said with true enthusiasm. “Are you happy to go back to New York?”

  
“I am, I think. I will miss Philly though. It’s been home for a decade and I’ve kind of made a life for myself there. It’ll be weird to start over.” She loved when he was vulnerable, even if it was just a little bit.

  
“What about more books?” She asked. She’d always been surprised that after The Subsect he’d never written anything else.

  
“I’ve got a million ideas but I’ve just been so busy making Truncheon into something it kind of took a backseat. Eventually though.”

  
The rest of the night continued along in the same manner. They talked of books and New York and family. They had another drink and they both seemed to loosen up even more as the clocked ticked away. A smirk seemed to be permanently attached to his face now and she felt herself blush a few times. At one point, she commented on how he'd grown his hair longer and he made some kind of innuendo about it being a good length to pull on. Jess had always been blunt but she found herself wondering what that would feel like.

  
Lane and Zach came over at one point and the four of them spoke for a while. When she realized it was close to midnight and the bar would be closing soon she asked the waitress for a check before he could order one more drink. She knew she'd order one if she was sitting here and she could not afford to have another.

  
He insisted on paying the bill and she found she liked grown up Jess.  
Maybe too much.

  
***

  
"Are you staying with Liz and TJ?" Rory asked as they stepped onto the street outside of The Secret bar. There was a little bit of a breeze in the air and she pulled her jean jacket together in the middle, crossing her arms as she walked. She and Jess walked side by side. It was highly possible that she was reading too much into it but it seemed to her that they were both walking closer than necessary.

  
"No, above the diner. Did you walk?"

  
She shook her head and answered. "Parked my car in front of the diner."

  
"Good, you can walk me home then." He said with a smirk shoving his hands into his pockets.

  
She wasn't sure where Jess stood but she was definitely feeling the several drinks she had consumed throughout the night. If she had to guess she figured he could hold his liquor better then she could. They walked in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but Rory felt some sort of tension radiating between the two. They'd definitely had a good night and she knew she wasn't imagining the flirtation that had been evident between them for most of the night. They had always naturally flirted with one another. Back when they dated the chemistry between them had been explosive - that part of the relationship had never been a problem.

  
The diner came into view up ahead. The streets of Stars Hollow were quiet and it was nice to see the town like this. It was a little after midnight and even on a Friday night most of the town had been tucked into their houses for hours now.

  
"You renewed your license I see." Jess said nodding his head towards her car parked in front of Luke's.

  
"What makes you think I'm not driving illegally?" She said with a smile as they stopped in front of the entrance to the diner. They turned to face each other and Rory was struck, not for the first time that night, over how attracted she was to him.

  
"Lucky guess." He shrugged.

  
He held her gaze for minute and she could tell he was thinking seriously about something. She wanted to speak but she didn't want to interrupt his train of thought. She bit her lip and continued to look at him. She tried really hard to seem more confident then she felt. She could tell the minute he decided to throw caution to the wind. His hands reached out grabbing the front of her jacket on both sides. He tugged effectively moving her closer to him. She closed the space between them and they were suddenly closer than they had been in years.   
Her heart was beating out of her chest and she had to remind herself to continue to breath.

  
"I had a good time tonight." He said quietly, his voice husky.

  
She smiled, biting her lip. "Me too."

  
"How come it took us a decade to have a drink together?" He asked, still holding onto her jacket. Her hands were awkwardly hanging by her side. She wanted to touch him so badly but she was terrified. She had no idea how they had gotten to this moment.

  
She bent her head down and chuckled. Her eyes were sparkling with anticipation. Of what, she wasn't sure. "We had a drink together at the Gazette last month."

  
He pulled her closer even though she really couldn't get any closer. Her hands reached out and fell to his waist.

  
He ignored her comment and tightened his grip on her jacket. His gaze moved down from her eyes to where she bit her lip and then quickly back up again.

  
"Why don't we hang out more often?" He asked. He was full of questions tonight.

  
"It doesn't usually end well when we're alone," she answered quietly. Of course she was referring to their encounters years ago in Stars Hollow, at Yale, and at Truncheon. While they'd moved past those incidents, they hadn't really been alone for any length of time since.

  
He seemed to be contemplating her answer. His eyes were so intense. Jess was always so intense and it had always been one of her favorite qualities about him.

  
"I foresee it ending well tonight." He answered smoothly. She could feel the heat of his body against hers. It was almost too much to handle.

  
She swallowed and she was sure he could tell how nervous she was. He reached up and brushed his thumb across her bottom lip so that she stopped biting. Her tongue peaked out instinctively and made contact with the pad of his finger. She stopped breathing and his eyes darkened.

  
"Rory," he said, his voice rough.

  
"How do you see the night ending?" She asked almost shyly, her fingers pressed more deeply into his waist.

  
"I asked you to get a drink to catch up," he started but he suddenly sounded frustrated. "I was so fucking sure I was over this."

  
Her stomach was filled with butterflies at the sound of him swearing. As a teenager she'd pretend she hated when he used those words but secretly she loved it. She knew her voice was shaking as she spoke. "Over what?"

  
It was a minute before he responded as if he was trying to pull himself together. She wasn't used to seeing Jess so clearly not in control of his feelings. Of course, she wasn't really used to seeing Jess in any way these days.

  
"You, Rory. Don't you think we've kind of 'been here done that'?" He asked and she knew he wasn't trying to be mean but his words sounded harsh nonetheless. After all, he had been the one to start this.

  
She wasn't sure where her confidence came from but her hands moved from his waist to his back, just slightly above his ass and she pushed him closer ever so slightly. "Well, we've never done this."

  
He clearly liked her answer. His hand moved from her jacket and slipped under her hair to cup her neck. He tilted her head up so that she had no choice but to look at him head on.

  
"Have you thought about it?" He didn't need to clarify what 'it' was.

  
"Not in a while." She answered honestly. It was a chilly September night but all she could feel was heat.

  
"Me neither. Not until I walked into the bar tonight. You were sitting there sipping your drink and all I could think about was kissing you. I felt like I was seventeen again."

  
"Just kissing?” She asked boldly. She barely recognized herself. Of course she was older now than she’d been the last time they’d been in a situation like this. She was obviously more experienced but she’d never been quite so open. Part of her couldn't believe this was real and the other part felt like it was inevitable. I mean, sex between the two of them had always been a matter of when, not if, right?

  
Instead of responding to her he moved forward and captured her lips in a kiss. _Finally_ was the only thought that passed through her mind before she completely gave in and kissed him back. 

  
His one hand tangled in her hair at the back of her head, the other pushed her impossibly close at the small of her back. She could feel his hardness everywhere.

  
Jess was neither slow nor gentle and she loved it. He had always kissed her like this - as if it was the last time. His tongue pushed his way into her mouth and she let him take all control. She was happy to sit back and enjoy.

  
He slowly pulled back but she wasn't ready and chased after him, nipping at his bottom lip. A small growl escaped the back of his throat and she blushed at her forwardness. He kissed her hard one last time and then pulled back, staring into her eyes. When she couldn’t look at him any longer she lowered her head and buried it into the crook of his neck. He was so warm and he smelled so good. This was almost too much for her to process but she knew she didn’t want to _not_ be touching him.

  
His arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a hug. Her arms moved around his torso as she placed light kisses along his neck and jaw.

  
“Come inside with me.” He said into her ear. His voice was soft but rough at the same time and it sent a shiver down her spine.

  
She didn’t think, only nodded, because really there was no other option.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and reviews! I am really enjoying writing this and the feedback from all of you makes me want to write and post chapters even quicker!

  
Rory sat at her desk at the Gazette. Her computer screen shined bright in front of her. She had plenty of work to edit and keep her busy but she found herself distracted. It was close to the end of the work day and she was alone in the office. It was the first day of November and the days were getting shorter and colder. It was only six in the evening but already completely dark outside making it feel closer to bedtime than anything.

Her phone lit up where it sat on her desk. She glanced over, seeing a text from her mom:

_Kiefer can’t make it to the wedding. Apparently he’s some big, famous celebrity and can’t get away from work on such short notice. Who does he think he is?_

Rory smiled slightly but didn’t pick up the phone to respond. The last two weeks had been all about wedding planning. Rory was ecstatic that her mom and Luke were finally making it official. As far as she was concerned, it was about damn time. She was relieved that her relationship with Lorelai was back on track. Life never felt quite right when she couldn’t talk to her mom whenever she wanted to. She hadn’t returned the first three chapters of the book just yet but Rory knew it was only a matter of time. She wished the only distraction in her life could be blamed on the anticipation of hearing her mom’s thoughts about the book but unfortunately that was not the case.

It wasn’t the wedding planning or her mother or the book that had her distracted. It was the news she had confirmed last night after Luke and her mom had gone to bed. She’d quietly snuck into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She’d taken a pregnancy test once before in college after her period had been a week late. The results of that test had been negative – she hadn’t been so lucky this time around. When she saw the positive sign on the stick she didn’t react right away. It almost felt like an out of body experience – she saw the results and she knew what they meant but it didn’t seem quite real. She was sure that at any moment she would wake up from this dream and laugh about it with her mom the next day.

It wasn't a dream though. It was her new reality and hours later she still couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact.

At thirty-two years old she was not where she thought she would be. She could handle being without a job and being confused about her career and her personal life. But being a mother? Having a child? She wasn’t sure if she could figure this one out. She knew though, even if she hadn’t accepted it yet, that it was time for her to quit messing around and get her act together. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t let herself become a shell of a person because of this curveball she’d been thrown. She’d give herself a full day, maybe two, to feel sorry for herself and then she’d move forward. She was tired of feeling sorry for herself. It was exhausting.

Of course, even though she was sure she could do this, she knew for a fact it wouldn’t be easy. There were the parts that she knew she could do on her own: find a job that paid, find a place to live that wasn’t her childhood bedroom, make a doctor’s appointment. That she could handle on her own. It was the more challenging aspects of her dilemma that worried her. Telling her mother, telling Luke, telling her grandmother and hardest of all – telling Jess.

_Jess._

Since she’d found out that she was carrying his child she’d avoided thinking about him to the best of her ability. She’d done plenty of thinking about him over the last six weeks but this was different.

The night she’d spent with Jess had been as close to perfect as she had experienced in years. It was the first time in God only knew how long that things had felt right, the first time that Rory hadn’t questioned her decision or worse, regretted her decision. She couldn't count the number of times she had disappointed herself or woken up feeling sick to her stomach because of a decision she had made over the last few years. That next morning, after she had left the diner, she laid in the guest bed at Lane’s house and replayed every moment of the night over in her head. Not once did she feel regret or remorse and it was such a relief.

She hadn’t wanted to leave the warmth of Jess’ bed that morning. However, not wanting Luke, and the whole town of Stars Hollow for that matter, to find out their little secret had won out. Her alarm had gone off early that morning and they both groaned at the sound coming from her phone. They couldn't have gotten more than two hours of sleep.

_“Rory, shut that damn thing off.” He grumbled pulling the covers over his head._

_She reached her arm over to the nightstand, unable to open her eyes yet. Her head was fuzzy with sleep and not ready to function. She grabbed her phone and silenced it before throwing it down next to her. She felt him move closer to her as he wrapped his arms around her stomach and pulled her closer to him. She wore one of his t-shirts and nothing else but he was completely naked and she could feel him grow hard against her. She blushed burying her head into her pillow without pulling away from him._

_“I have to go.” She said quietly when she felt him kiss her neck._

_“No, actually, you don’t.”_

_She turned to face him and slipped her leg in between his for warmth._

_“If I don’t leave now Luke will see me when I leave and I don’t want to deal with that.” She said almost whispering. It was too early for anything else._

_He slipped his hand under her shirt, grabbing her ass to push her into him. They both groaned at the contact and she hated him for making this so hard._

_“Jess.” She said, breathlessly._

_He didn’t let go but he didn’t push any further either. He could have easily slipped inside of her and she wouldn’t have stopped him but they both knew she was right. She had to leave._

_“Regrets?” He asked holding eye contact with her. She couldn’t have lied if she wanted to._

_She didn’t speak but shook her head and held his gaze so that he knew she was telling the truth. She hadn’t had much time to think about what they’d done together but she knew, even after she processed, that there would be no regrets. She didn’t know what this meant for the two of them. To be honest, she was in no position to start any kind of relationship. She needed to figure out other parts of her life before she could even think about being with another person. She did know, though, that nothing between her and Jess had ever been casual and it had never been meaningless. This meant something – she just didn’t know what yet._

_“I’m going back to Philly this morning.” He said, his voice was still heavy with sleep but they were both more awake now than they had been a few minutes ago. Neither of them attempted to give the other any space._

_“You mean you aren’t considering staying in Stars Hollow forever?” She asked jokingly. She was slightly aware of the fact that she probably had morning breath but he didn’t seem to mind._

_“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He mumbled. His fingers traced patterns on her back that made goosebumps break out across her skin._

_They were quiet for a minute, both thinking. She couldn’t speak for him but she had so many thoughts running through her head. She wasn’t sure where she wanted this conversation to go - especially at four thirty in the morning._

_“Last night was…” She started but she couldn’t find the right word to finish._

_“I know.” He said softly but with a smirk._

_She blushed again because that’s what he did to her without even really saying anything at all._

_“Rory, remember when you came to Truncheon back when you were still at Yale and we kissed and then you told me you were still in love with that guy you were with?” He asked and she had no idea where he was going with this but of course she remembered._

_“Not my finest moment.” She replied but said nothing more. He clearly had a point he was trying to make._

_“Do you remember what I said to you before you left?” He asked. A piece of his hair fell over his eye and she moved her hand up to push it back._

_She remembered. Of course she did. She was fairly certain she remembered everything he had ever said to her. “It is what it is, you and me.”_

_He nodded and leaned in to kiss her softly on the mouth. She wanted to deepen the kiss and she knew he did too but that would lead to her never leaving the bed._

_“I know you’re going to go home and you’re going to overthink this. Don’t. It was a long time coming. And I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything, it did, and it was fucking awesome but when it comes to you and me sometimes it just is what it is.” He paused to see if she wanted to say anything but she was just listening intently. “We’re in two totally different places in our lives. I know you have a lot of shit to figure out and for the first time in my life I’m actually in a pretty good place.”_

_She smiled. And not for the first time, she thought how amazing of a man he had become. “You’re exactly the person I always knew you would be.”_

_He kissed her again because he wasn’t sure when, or if, he ever would again. They didn’t say anything else because they didn’t need to._

_They finally rolled out of bed. She used the bathroom and put on her clothes from the night before. He walked her downstairs with ten minutes to spare before Luke would arrive to start prepping the diner for the day. Before she could open the door to leave, Jess pushed her up against it. He used his hand to grip her right around her jaw and kissed her hard. She opened up to him immediately, their tongues dueling for control. She wrapped her hands behind his back and pulled him close. As quickly as it had begun he was pulling away, leaving her breathless. Her eyes were glazed over, her lips swollen and he had never seen anything hotter._

_“I can’t be held responsible if I decide to do that every time I see you from now on.” He said half-jokingly. His husky voice the only sign that he’d just kissed the shit out of her._

_She laughed and she wondered if she’d ever be able to catch him off guard the way he did to her._

_“I’ll see you around, Jess.” She said turning to open the door._

_He didn’t respond but he watched her as she walked out of the diner and down the street towards Lane’s house. He didn’t go back inside until she was out of sight._

She hadn’t seen him since that morning. She’d heard through Luke that Truncheon was officially making the move to New York and Jess had been wrapped up in that since his visit in September. He had made one quick trip into town but that had only been for the day and she’d been visiting Paris in the city.

Last week she’d realized that she was late getting her period. Not by a lot, but she was always regular so for her it was at least slightly alarming. She’d had no other signs of pregnancy. She hadn’t been sick, no odd cravings or sore breasts. She’d let it go for a few days figuring it would come on its own – but when it hadn’t she’d gotten progressively more nervous. She’d picked the test up on a whim when she had been in Hartford – she’d been visiting her grandmother at the house before it was officially out of their lives for good.

It had taken her another day before she worked up the courage to take the test – and now here she was, sitting at the Gazette having gotten nothing done all day. Pregnant.

Her phone lit up again with another text from her mom.

_When will you be home?_

She signed and picked up the phone to respond. If she waited too long her mom would follow up with a phone call.

Leaving in a few minutes.

It was useless for her to stay, she wouldn’t get anything done. She had to snap out of it though otherwise she was sure her mother would notice something was off with her. It was Tuesday, five days before the wedding and Rory did not want to burden Lorelai with this news until that was over.

It was decided. She would pretend this wasn’t happening until at least Monday morning. She’d get through the rest of this week and the weekend of the wedding. Next week she would sit down with her mom and she would figure out a plan.

In the back of her mind, she knew she would see Jess this weekend. Obviously he would be at the wedding and she would not be able to avoid him.

But for just a little while longer she would pretend her life wasn’t about to change drastically.

***

Saturday, the day before the wedding, came quickly and Rory could feel the excitement in the house. It was late morning and she was curled up on the couch reading a book. Luke and Lorelai were in the kitchen and Rory could hear Luke asking her mother when she’d be leaving for the day. Rory briefly remembered a conversation the three of them had had over dinner the other night. Luke did not want to see Lorelai leading up to the wedding but Rory and her mom had both laughed, sure he wasn’t serious about a tradition so old-fashioned.

A knock came at the door and Rory stood to answer it. She wasn’t sure who it might be but with the wedding in less than twenty four hours there had been an endless string of visitors to the house over the last several days.

She flung the door open, surprised by who stood on the other side.

“Jess.” She said because she couldn’t think of anything else.

He smiled, a duffel bag tossed over his shoulder. Here he was, in the flesh, and her stomach was suddenly in knots.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

He smiled, hoisting the bag up. Clearly it was heavy. Clearly she should invite him in so he could put it down. Clearly she wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Oh, I don’t know. Heard something about a wedding.” He joked. “Am I allowed to come in?”

She stared for another minute before she was able to pull herself together. She backed up so that he could walk through the door. Their arms brushed and she tingled everywhere. He dropped his bag in the foyer and she closed the door before taking a deep breath and turning back to him.

“What’s up?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at her. He always came across so cool and calm and she always came across like a crazy person.

She shrugged, wringing her fingers together. She had a million questions and no answers to go with them. Why was his bag here? Was he staying here? Wouldn’t her mother have mentioned that detail? “Just wedding craziness. You sure you want to be in the thick of it?”

He laughed, pushing his hair off of his face. It had taken her a while to get used to his longer hair but after the last time they had been together she had come to the conclusion that she loved it.

“Just wanted to swing by and see if Luke needed anything.” His eyes met hers and then moved down and back up again. He was blatantly checking her out but she hated that she could never figure out what he was thinking. She also hated that she hadn’t changed out of her red over-sized sweater and pajama pants.

Before she could respond or they could have any more of a conversation she heard her mom and Luke coming towards them. They greeted Jess and the four of them moved into the living room. Rory heard conversations going on around her and she tried her best to chime in where necessary but she was so obviously distracted. Jess eyed her a few times but said nothing. If Lorelai noticed something was up with her daughter she didn’t make it known. Rory figured she didn’t though – the wedding had consumed most of her thoughts and lucky for Rory that meant she had distractions of her own.

When her mother announced she was heading for the inn, Rory hightailed it out of the living room and into the comfort of her bedroom using work as an excuse. As if she had any work to do.

How could she have thought that she would be able to face Jess and act normally when she harbored this huge secret? A secret that affected him as much as it affected her.

A few hours later she heard her mother return home through the back entrance and head for the living room. She opened her bedroom door and heard Luke’s surprise at seeing her mother, heard Jess say something about Rande Gerber, and noticed Kirk had arrived at some point. She entered the room, feeling slightly better with her mom there as a buffer. She did everything she could not to look at Jess which made it more apparent that she was avoiding him. She knew he had to be well aware that she had been hiding from him but at the moment she didn’t care. This was all proving to be much harder than she had anticipated.

When both she and Lorelai were kicked out of the room they went back to the kitchen and pretended to leave the house –obviously acting had never been their strong suit. She was surprised when her mother reached into her purse to grab the chapters Rory had given her to read. She was even more surprised when Lorelai gave her blessing for Rory to move forward with writing – without having read any of it. For the first time in close to a week Rory felt excitement and had hope that everything would work out. She stayed seated at the kitchen table for a few more minutes until she heard Lorelai say goodbye to Jess.

“Is Jess leaving?” Rory asked as she stood up and watched her mother enter the kitchen again.

“Yeah, I told him not to but he’s never actually listened to me.” Lorelai answered but her voice was light and she was definitely joking.

Rory rushed past her mother, the pages of her book in hand. Yes, she’d been avoiding him and hiding from him all day but she was excited and she had to share that with someone. She had to share it with him.

She swung open the door and rushed through, “Jess!” she called, moving straight by Luke. She held the pages up, directly in front of her. “The first three chapters!”

Without any thought, she grabbed his jacket, jumped up and down like a child and squealed. She wanted to hug him but she caught herself before she followed through. As quickly as she’d come out she ran back inside.

She was certifiably insane and she was certain that the next time she saw Jess he wouldn’t let her off the hook so easily.

***

What was it that they said? Even the best-laid plans often go awry? Rory had every intention of waiting until after the wedding to tell her mom that she was pregnant. And she supposed, technically, she had. The secret wedding had taken her by surprise and the feelings she had felt following had made it impossible for her to keep such a huge secret from her mother for a second longer.

Rory wished she could better describe her mother’s reaction to hearing that Jess Mariano would be the father of her grandchild. After Rory had spilled the beans, she’d asked her mother if they could table the discussion for after the not-secret wedding. She knew it was a lot to take in and she apologized, again, for her horrible timing. For once, Lorelai truly seemed unsure of what to say and Rory was almost grateful.

Right before they were ready to head into town for the ceremony, Lorelai caught Rory’s arm as they stood on the porch of their house. She lowered her voice to make sure that Emily Gilmore did not catch wind of their conversation.

“Does Jess know yet?” Lorelai asked. She looked stunning in her gown, her face was made up but natural and her hair hung in waves over her shoulders.

Rory shook her head, her hair similar to her mother’s only slightly shorter. She wore a whimsical, navy blue, maxi dress with lace cap sleeves.The bodice was pleated and the waist fitted but luckily, there was no sign of a baby bump yet. "Not yet."

Lorelai nodded, watching her daughter. Rory could tell she was deciding whether or not she should say what was on her mind so she threw her a bone. "Say whatever you're thinking."

"Are you and Jess..." She trailed off but Rory knew her mother well enough to get the gist of what she was asking.

"It was a one time thing. I guess. At the time we decided we're both in such different places in our lives. The timing for us has never been right. This is just...unexpected."

Lorelai nodded and looked behind her to make sure her mother was not about to sneak up on their conversation. "I think..."

She trailed off again but Rory didn't say anything, hopeful that she would continue.

"I think Jess has turned into a good guy. And I think you could do worse as far as baby daddy's go."

Rory dropped her head and chuckled. Her cheeks heated slightly. "He's always been a good guy."

Lorelai's eyes narrowed. She studied her daughter's face before responding. "You need to tell him soon."

Rory nodded. "I will."

"I love you, kid."

Rory smiled and hugged her mom. For the first time since she'd found out she was pregnant she felt a sense of relief.

Temporarily at least.

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In some ways this feels like a good place for me to end but in other ways I feel like there is more story to tell. I'm on the fence but considering how easily this has come to me I feel like there will be more. Thank you for the reviews and support!!

She looked at him from where she sat at her table. He was leaning against the bar having a conversation with Andrew. It was slightly unsettling to see him holding a civil conversation with the townsfolk of Stars Hollow but she guessed this was the new and improved Jess and she’d have to get used to it.

After a moment, Andrew walked away from Jess, who caught Rory’s eye from across the town square. She wondered if he’d approach her but he didn’t. He stood there, staring at her, leaving her no choice but to make her way over to him.

She walked slowly and right before she stepped up to him she took a deep breath. For sure this was not the time and place for them to have _the_ conversation but any conversation with him at this point put butterflies in her stomach.

“Hey.” She said, standing in front of him.

“Hey yourself.” He responded but said nothing more. He knew she had been avoiding him and he was giving her the opportunity to lead the conversation.

“Having fun?”

He shrugged, sipping at his drink. “I’m not sure fun’s the right description but I am happy for Luke and Lorelai. I’d say it was about time.”

She smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, she was having difficulty holding his gaze. “Definitely.”

They were quiet for a moment and the more time that passed the more Rory knew he would not let her off the hook. He proved her right a moment later.

“What’s up with you?” He asked bluntly.

She could play this a few ways. She could answer him without actually answering him. She could admit to avoiding him but not tell him why – pretend she was unsure how to act around him after their last encounter. Or, she could act clueless, buying her more time.

“Nothing. What do you mean?” She answered. Clueless it was.

He gave her a look as if to ask her if she thought he was stupid. “You’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not,” She protested weakly but quickly gave in. “Maybe a little.”

“Why, Rory?” He asked.

She sighed, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. Before she could answer with words he spoke again.

“You look beautiful by the way.”

She met his eyes and held his gaze for a moment. She loved how grown up Jess didn’t hesitate before saying what he was thinking.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

He gave her a small smile but before he could say anything she continued.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“So you admit it?” He asked, smirking.

“I admit since yesterday I may have gone out of my way not to be alone with you.” She took a deep breath and continued. “It’s probably not why you think though.”

“And what do I think?” He pushed, not making this any easier on her.

“You think I regret what happened between us.” She said confidently because she knew for a fact he wasn’t thinking she was pregnant with his child.

“Am I wrong to think that?” He asked. He finished off his drink and placed it on the bar behind him but didn’t order another one.

She nodded. “Yes, I told you then I didn’t regret it and I still don’t.”

“I should’ve called.” He started, stepping a bit closer to her. He lowered his voice and it was then she remembered they actually weren’t alone but surrounded by some of their (her) closest friends and family. “I’m sorry that I didn’t. Regardless of how we left things I shouldn’t have acted like you were some random girl because you’re not. That’s my fault and I am sorry.”

She stared at him. She wasn’t surprised at how genuine he sounded, she was, however, surprised at how easily an apology came from him. She wondered when she’d stop comparing this Jess to teenage Jess.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m not mad about that. I could’ve called you too. It is what it is, remember?” She asked with a small smile.

His gaze was intense and for the thousandth time in her life she wished she could read his mind.

“Yeah. I remember.”

“Do you regret it, Jess?” Because the more he spoke the more it sounded like he did.

“No.” He said quickly and matter-of-factly. He shook his head and stared intensely back at her. “No.” He seemed like he wanted to say more but couldn’t figure out where to start.

“How’s New York?” She asked out of nowhere because she was desperate to change the direction of the conversation.

“Subtle.” He mumbled but he allowed it. “New York is good. Busy. We’re settling in but it’s been a crazy couple of weeks. If it didn’t sound like an excuse I’d tell you the reason I didn’t call is because I’ve barely had time to eat the last six weeks.”

She nodded. She had so many more questions, she wanted to know everything but it didn’t seem like the time or the place. It never seemed like the time or the place.

And that’s when it hit her. She couldn’t put off telling him any longer. She could make excuses for why it was an awful time to tell him until she was in her third trimester. The fact was Jess was here now. She couldn’t think of any reasonable explanation for why it would be okay to keep this from him for another second.

“Jess,” she started and something in her voice must have given her away because his eyes narrowed. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Aren’t we talking now?” He asked. A piece of hair fell into her face, over her eye, and almost as if it were a habit he reached up to tuck it behind her ear.

She looked around her, taking in her surroundings. She saw Miss Patty and Babette, Kirk, Taylor, and Mrs. Kim. Lane, Zach and the kids were eating at a table with Paris and Doyle. Her grandmother was having what looked to be an in depth conversation with Gypsy. At another time, in another situation, she’d be dying to know exactly what they were talking about. Her gaze travelled towards the dance floor where she saw her mom and Luke looking happier than she’d ever seen. As if she sensed someone watching her, Lorelai turned and her eyes connected with her daughter’s. She looked over to Jess standing next to Rory and with just a look the two Gilmore girls held a silent conversation.

“ _I’m_ _going_ _to_ _tell_ _him_ _now_.”

“ _Good_ _luck.”_

Rory turned back to Jess who was still staring intently at her. She had his undivided attention.

“Somewhere we can talk alone.”

***

They walked away from the town center in silence. It was a beautiful day in Stars Hollow – unseasonably warm for the beginning of November in Connecticut. Lorelai had been checking the weather obsessively for the last week and luckily all had worked out in her favor.

Rory had removed her heels and was carrying them in her right hand. Her dress dragged slightly on the street and she told herself the reason she kept her head down was because she was avoiding stepping on anything that would hurt her bare feet.

For now, Jess seemed okay with the silence. Without discussing it they were heading in the direction of the bridge. She tried to remember the last time they had been there together but she couldn’t pull up an image. It saddened her that moments with Jess that had once been so clear were fading fast from memory.

They reached the clearing right before the bridge and Jess stopped. He shrugged off his suit jacket and placed it on the grass, motioning for her to sit on it. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt as he sat down in the grass, his legs stretched out in front of him and he leaned back, his arms behind him for support.

She sat Indian style, facing him. She made a promise to herself that no matter how hard this got she would not take her eyes off of him.

Neither of them spoke right away. Rory figured he was waiting for her to start – after all, she had been the one who wanted to talk privately.

“Are you seeing anyone?” She asked, clearly taking him by surprise. He sat up straight and turned to face her directly, his legs stretched out just to the left of her.

“Haven’t had much time for a relationship lately.” Was his only response.

She nodded. She had asked for selfish reasons really. Whether he had a girlfriend or not wouldn’t change the news he was about to receive.

He stared at her and Rory could tell he was getting impatient. Jess may have changed a lot over the years but he would never have much tolerance for idle chit chat.

“You want to tell me what’s on your mind?” He pushed.

“I do.” She answered simply with a nod.

After a moment, he spoke again this time with a hint of sarcasm. “I can’t read your mind, Rory.”

She squinted, the sun going down was bright behind him. She tried to think of some kind of clever quip but all she could come up with was that she wished he could.

“I’m pregnant.”

And just like that she had told him. She’d known that it would be hard to figure out his thoughts just by looking at his face but she couldn’t have prepared for the conversation to follow. He didn’t say anything for a long time and as difficult as it was she didn’t say anything either. There was nothing left for her to say, not yet.

The sun went down behind the trees and she shivered. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was cold or nervous but it got him talking.

“Put my jacket on.” He said, moving forward to tug on the garment she sat on. She lifted slightly so that he could pull it out from under her. He draped it over her shoulders and she moved her arms through the sleeves. It was warm and it smelled like him and it comforted her in some odd way.

“The baby is yours.” She blurted out because she wouldn’t have been able to stand it if that had been the first thing he questioned.

“I wasn’t going to ask.” He responded quietly. His eyes roamed her face but she wasn’t sure what he was trying to find. He stopped talking again and another several minutes went by before she couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking.” She whispered, her head down.

She heard him sigh and she looked up. She was trying not to cry but she knew her eyes betrayed her. Her throat was tight and her heart was pounding and she was certain she had never been so nervous in her life.

“I have wanted to be with you since I met you.” He started quietly. She hadn’t expected the words but she didn’t say anything. “Some part of me has loved you since I was seventeen. I’ve accepted that I’d always love you but that maybe I could still be happy without you. And I have been happy, Rory. I haven’t been pining or waiting around for you.”

She was holding her breath. She was trying to commit every word to memory.

“And then finally back in September I got the chance to be with you how I always wanted to but the timing still didn’t feel right. Because I know you, Rory, and I know you were not ready for me to tell you how I felt.”

She nodded because he was right.

“Did you think I’d be mad?” He asked. He moved closer to her so that she was within arm’s reach but they still didn’t touch.

“I don’t know. Not really. But it’s not easy to tell a guy who you had sex with one time that you’re pregnant with his child.” She said quickly but she cringed when she realized how her words came across.

“I’m more than just some guy you had sex with one time, don’t you think?” He asked but he didn’t sound mad or spiteful, just curious.

Her eyes met his and she reached out to grab his hand. “Of course you are. And that probably makes it even harder. I know this is crazy. I know it is. And I know our history is…messy, but you have to know how much I care about you.”

He did know because it was just as much as he cared about her. “What did you think when you found out?”

She gave him a half smile. “You mean after, ‘holy shit?’”

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah, after that.”

She paused for a second even though she knew her answer. She felt shy suddenly. “I thought that I was glad it was happening with you.”

And really, that was all he needed to hear. He reached out for her and pulled her forward so that she had no choice but to sit on his lap. His legs were in front of him and she straddled his upper thighs. She grabbed onto his shoulders for support while he wrapped his arms around her back.

“We’ll figure it out.” He said quietly. She nodded, her eyes glistening. He wiped a tear from under her eye and sighed. “It’s not ideal.”

She lowered her head and laughed softly. “I don't think it's really hit me yet so I can't even imagine how you're feeling. It doesn’t feel real.”

He contemplated what she was saying and she was certainly right. The moment had a dreamlike quality to it.

“It doesn’t feel wrong though.” He finally answered and to her, it was the perfect response.


End file.
